This is my first Thanksgiving in our new home and it is under the sunny skies. I love Thanksgiving as it is the time of year that families gather around the table and give thanks for life. If you are caring for a loved one I hope someone is helping you prepare for this celebration. It can be overwhelming cooking all the delicious food and accommodating family and friends. When I was tired from caregiving my daughter stepped up to the plate and cooked some wonderful Thanksgiving meals. She enjoyed Thanksgiving so much that it was a pleasure to have her host the celebration. Many blessings to her.
I am hosting this year and I am counting my blessings for all those grateful things in life we take for granted. I am grateful for delicious food and grandchildren as we have added a few more beautiful faces to our table.
We go through fazes in life as we lose some family members to heaven and we know that they are smiling down upon us. Life keeps evolving and we give thanks to a new growing family and laughter and love.
If you know someone is alone reach out and fill the table with good company. I hope where ever you are that your life will be filled with gratitude.
Smiling always at life as it is to short to be filled with sadness.
Smiling always at the people we are grateful to be surrounded by.
Smiling always because life is beautiful !!!
Happy Thanksgiving !!!
Elizabeth😊
Wednesday, November 27, 2019
Tuesday, November 19, 2019
Take Care Of Yourself...Caregiver
My writing is an expression of my own perspectives of being a caregiver. They are my thoughts and opinions. I am deeply rooted as a caregiver having gone to college and earned a degree and license to practice as a Registered Nurse. However my experiences as a nurse and caregiver vary differently. My work as a nurse seemed effortless when dealing with total strangers and yet it was physically demanding and sometimes emotionally draining. It is hard to separate that emotional empathetic feeling for people who are terminally ill or facing long term illness.
My work as a caregiver for a loved one was over whelming and I was unable to separate myself from the emotional aspect of loving them so much that I did not want to watch them suffer or succumb to the illness.. We build our life around the people we love and it is hard to care for them when they are not at their best. It can change life totally for them and for the caregiver. Illness and aging does not discriminate and it is something we will all face at sometime in life.
From what I have researched and observed in my life there are more women than men caring for a loved one. I often thought from my own experience is it because women are nurturing and we are more empathetic by nature or does society expect that role from us.
I received my role as caregiver because I was taught that you take care of family and spouse. You love your spouse in sickness and in health until death do you part. It seems to me a natural thing to do. I have over the years as a nurse witnessed spouses who left when their partner became ill and grown children that abandoned their sick elderly parents.. It is not for me to judge them. I would like to believe that if they had support and resources to help them that maybe they would feel differently.
https://www.medicinenet.com/caregiving/article.htm
Parents who are caring for ill children will always have a place in my heart. It is hard to watch children suffer and being strong is very emotional.
No mater which category you fall into as caregiver you have to take time for yourself. It is the hardness thing I have learned. I remember a couple of times thinking if I allow myself to have fun or pamper myself someone will judge. How dare she take care of her emotional needs at a time like this. What gives her the right to enjoy life while someone is suffering or battling a disease or dying.
People say cruel things without thinking or placing their feet in our shoes. I always say think before you speak and walk beside me daily before you judge me.
The answer is we all are here to live life and we must take care of our needs and stay mentally and physically healthy to be that caregiver. How does that happen... you ask for help from family, friends, neighbors or health care professionals. You open your mouth and say I need help. Shout help if you have to and most people will come to your aide even strangers. People will help when asked and you have to be specific as to what you need them to do. Try it and if they can't help keep asking others. You are advocating for yourself to be healthy so that you can be a caregiver when needed. Remember that we can not control what others do or say but we can control how we
Resources such as Medicinenet and talking to other caregivers is very helpful. You are not alone.
Life is beautiful!!
Elizabeth:)
My work as a caregiver for a loved one was over whelming and I was unable to separate myself from the emotional aspect of loving them so much that I did not want to watch them suffer or succumb to the illness.. We build our life around the people we love and it is hard to care for them when they are not at their best. It can change life totally for them and for the caregiver. Illness and aging does not discriminate and it is something we will all face at sometime in life.
From what I have researched and observed in my life there are more women than men caring for a loved one. I often thought from my own experience is it because women are nurturing and we are more empathetic by nature or does society expect that role from us.
I received my role as caregiver because I was taught that you take care of family and spouse. You love your spouse in sickness and in health until death do you part. It seems to me a natural thing to do. I have over the years as a nurse witnessed spouses who left when their partner became ill and grown children that abandoned their sick elderly parents.. It is not for me to judge them. I would like to believe that if they had support and resources to help them that maybe they would feel differently.
https://www.medicinenet.com/caregiving/article.htm
Parents who are caring for ill children will always have a place in my heart. It is hard to watch children suffer and being strong is very emotional.
No mater which category you fall into as caregiver you have to take time for yourself. It is the hardness thing I have learned. I remember a couple of times thinking if I allow myself to have fun or pamper myself someone will judge. How dare she take care of her emotional needs at a time like this. What gives her the right to enjoy life while someone is suffering or battling a disease or dying.
People say cruel things without thinking or placing their feet in our shoes. I always say think before you speak and walk beside me daily before you judge me.
The answer is we all are here to live life and we must take care of our needs and stay mentally and physically healthy to be that caregiver. How does that happen... you ask for help from family, friends, neighbors or health care professionals. You open your mouth and say I need help. Shout help if you have to and most people will come to your aide even strangers. People will help when asked and you have to be specific as to what you need them to do. Try it and if they can't help keep asking others. You are advocating for yourself to be healthy so that you can be a caregiver when needed. Remember that we can not control what others do or say but we can control how we
Resources such as Medicinenet and talking to other caregivers is very helpful. You are not alone.
Life is beautiful!!
Elizabeth:)
Wednesday, November 13, 2019
From The Inside Looking Out As A Caregiver
I want to share a post that I actually wrote on my other blog "My Four Legged Friend Laney". The blog name may seem a little deceiving but it was a journey with my dog while facing life as a caregiver. It ranked highly in the most read posts of my blog. It is a raw and true depiction of what I experienced as a caregiver.
I remember a couple of years ago when I was in the midst of caring for my husband and my dad that my daughter made a statement that things looked different to her from the outside looking in. She was talking to me when I was very anxious and concerned about my job as caregiver. I would talk to her about how tired and frustrated I was at times and appeared to be very emotional. She would feel free at times to express her opinion about situations that she had not been a part of or had experienced. It was hurtful at times but I respected her right to her opinion and at times I prayed she would never have to be in my position. I felt that I tried my best to protect my children from the ugly parts of care giving. The part where you have to step up to the plate no matter how bad you feel and take charge. The part where you are all alone and have given up your life to help someone you love. It is the part of care giving we don't like to talk about and the part others don't want to hear. Perhaps because someday it may be them.
From the inside looking out, I would like to give a brutal glimpse. I feel I have a right to be heard. It is the unspoken words of how you feel, but you try to hide it from family and friends because everyone is counting on you to take care of your loved ones. It is not an easy job as it comes with great sacrifices and at the same time it can make you feel good that you have been able to share even a difficult experience with someone you love. You are proud that you were able to get them through a rough time in their life. The outcome is not always a happy ending. We do what we have to do because we love one another. It is called compassion. As mothers we try to protect our children from the bad news, because we know that it is not easy dealing with the fact that our parents are ill. When you are young your life should be focused on living and having fun.
There is however a realization that sometimes the caregiver gets ill. I made the mistake of thinking that it was better to smile through the pain of my own life. I have been taking care of family since I was in my twenties. I kept a lot to myself about not feeling well perhaps it is part of my personality to be stubborn and push through pain and put myself last. However I am very hurt that I have been dismissed as being someone that is seeking attention. I kept my illness tucked quietly in my heart. I have heard from doctors that I was lazy, and I should just focus on my husband. I even had a doctor goes as far as to tell me I was mentally ill and making up an illness to get attention. I was very hurt by the statement as I walked out of the office thinking I am not even allowed to get medical help. I have even had my own family tell me you don't look sick. I guess I missed the class on how to be a patient. I have heard from people that said to me you need to take care of yourself. Believe me when I say that I have tried. It is not an easy road when you are in some one's shadow.
I don't blame anyone for their illness or mine. I was disappointed in the health care profession that dismissed my illness as something in my head. In fact that I had to demand that someone help me when I was too ill to go on. I still kept smiling and pushing myself to protect the people I love. I do have feelings and perhaps sometimes I just wish someone would acknowledge that I am not immortal. I do feel bad some days so excuse me while I rest or cry. I won't waste too much time, because I am strong and I see that living is the best thing to do when others are looking from the outside in.
Try to remember that someday you may be looking from the inside out and I hope that you will get the help you need and you will be noticed. The best advice I have for caregivers is that you deserve to take sick days and that you need to be your own best advocate. Sometimes you have to quit protecting others and look out for yourself.
Well, excuse me I am feeling good now and I have a lot of living to catch up on.
God bless all patients and caregivers !!
Life is beautiful !!
Elizabeth:)
Thursday, November 7, 2019
What is Next After Caregiving Ends
This blog is for those who want to find their way to sunny skies. It is possible after a journey as a caregiver and raising children that we can find ourselves again. Care giving is always a hard job regardless of who you are caring for. It can drain you emotionally and it can also make you appreciate life itself.
I wanted to write again after a busy year of moving and decided that my blog "My Four Legged Friend Laney", had run its course. Laney gave me a purpose in my life to get up every day and face a scary journey of cancer, an empty nest, and over whelming anxiety of the uncertainty of life. I will always be grateful for the times with Laney and her unconditional love. She passed onto doggy heaven in February of 2017. The blog will remain but I will redirect readers to this one. This blog is dedicated to Laney the best friend ever and the reason I started blogging.
I have always felt better when the sun shines. It is my medicine to chase away the blues. People who live in areas where there is a lot of sunshine are generally happy. Perhaps it is the Vitamin D that we get from sunshine that is making us happy. For me seeing sunshine makes me smile.
If you ever find your self under the clouds I can tell you that there is sunshine when the clouds part. I have spent a couple of years finding myself and I feel like I am now under the sunny skies. It didn't happen overnight but with a little help from cognitive behavior therapy and loving myself I am enjoying life again.
Moving has been helpful for me as I have gone through boxes of memories from childhood to the present. I realized that long before blogging I was writing. It is some thing that I am passionate about. It brings joy to me to write. It was fun to find some of my writings from four decades ago.
I am growing older and every day is a gift and I intend to write as much as I can.
When caregiving ends it is difficult to get back to your life. It takes time to assume a new role as perhaps you have lost a loved one or given up a career. There is hope that you can build a new life for yourself. You are not alone.
There is the Care Giver Alliance which has a lot of valuable information about how to transition after caregiving ends. You can visit the site at https://www.caregiver.org/when-caregiving-ends .
I hope I can inspire people to love their life.💓
Life is beautiful
Elizabeth
I wanted to write again after a busy year of moving and decided that my blog "My Four Legged Friend Laney", had run its course. Laney gave me a purpose in my life to get up every day and face a scary journey of cancer, an empty nest, and over whelming anxiety of the uncertainty of life. I will always be grateful for the times with Laney and her unconditional love. She passed onto doggy heaven in February of 2017. The blog will remain but I will redirect readers to this one. This blog is dedicated to Laney the best friend ever and the reason I started blogging.
I have always felt better when the sun shines. It is my medicine to chase away the blues. People who live in areas where there is a lot of sunshine are generally happy. Perhaps it is the Vitamin D that we get from sunshine that is making us happy. For me seeing sunshine makes me smile.
If you ever find your self under the clouds I can tell you that there is sunshine when the clouds part. I have spent a couple of years finding myself and I feel like I am now under the sunny skies. It didn't happen overnight but with a little help from cognitive behavior therapy and loving myself I am enjoying life again.
Moving has been helpful for me as I have gone through boxes of memories from childhood to the present. I realized that long before blogging I was writing. It is some thing that I am passionate about. It brings joy to me to write. It was fun to find some of my writings from four decades ago.
I am growing older and every day is a gift and I intend to write as much as I can.
When caregiving ends it is difficult to get back to your life. It takes time to assume a new role as perhaps you have lost a loved one or given up a career. There is hope that you can build a new life for yourself. You are not alone.
There is the Care Giver Alliance which has a lot of valuable information about how to transition after caregiving ends. You can visit the site at https://www.caregiver.org/when-caregiving-ends .
I hope I can inspire people to love their life.💓
Life is beautiful
Elizabeth
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