Take Care Of Yourself...Caregiver

 My writing  is an expression of my own perspectives of being a caregiver.  They are my thoughts and opinions.  I am deeply rooted as a caregiver having gone to college and earned a degree and license to practice as a Registered Nurse.  However my experiences as a nurse and caregiver vary differently.  My work as a nurse seemed effortless when dealing with total strangers and yet it was physically demanding and sometimes emotionally draining.  It is hard to separate that emotional empathetic feeling for people who are terminally ill or facing long term illness.

My work as a caregiver for a loved one was over whelming and I was unable to separate myself from the emotional aspect of loving them so much that I did not want to watch them suffer or succumb to the illness..  We build our life around the people we love and it is hard to care for them when they are not at their best.  It can change life totally for them and for the caregiver.  Illness and aging does not discriminate and it is something we will all face at sometime in life.

From what I have researched and observed in my life there are more women than men caring for a loved one.  I often thought from my own experience is it because women are nurturing and we are more empathetic by nature or does society expect that role from us.

I received my role as caregiver because I was taught that you take care of family and spouse. You love your spouse in sickness and in health until death do you part.  It seems to me a natural thing to do.   I have over the years as a nurse witnessed spouses who left when their partner became ill and grown children that abandoned their sick elderly parents..  It is not for me to judge them.  I would like to believe that if they had support and resources to help them that maybe they would feel differently.
https://www.medicinenet.com/caregiving/article.htm

Parents who are caring for ill children will always have a place in my heart.  It is hard to watch children suffer and being strong is very emotional.

No mater which category you fall into as caregiver you have to take time for yourself.  It is the hardness thing I have learned.   I remember a couple of times thinking if I allow myself to have fun or pamper myself  someone will judge.  How dare she take care of  her emotional needs at a time like this.  What gives her the right to enjoy life while someone is suffering or battling a disease or dying.

People say cruel things without thinking or placing their feet in our shoes.  I always say think before you speak and walk beside me daily before you judge me.

The answer is we all are here to live life and we must take care of our needs and stay mentally and physically healthy to be that caregiver.   How does that happen... you ask for help from family, friends, neighbors or health care professionals.   You open your mouth and say I need help.  Shout help if you have to and most people will come to your aide even strangers.  People will help when asked and you have to be specific as to what you need them to do.  Try it and if they can't help keep asking others.  You are advocating for yourself  to be healthy so that you can be a caregiver when needed.  Remember that we can not control what others do or say but we can control how we

Resources such as Medicinenet and talking to other caregivers is very helpful.  You are not alone.

Life is beautiful!!

Elizabeth:)